After Arthur objects to drinking 3 pints of beer at lunchtime:
"Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so."
Ford's attempt to soften the news when he tells Arthur that he is an alien:
"Alright," said Ford. "How would you react if I said that I'm not from Guildford after all, but from a small planet somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse?"
Ford explaining to Arthur that he trusts Mr. Prosser not to knock down Arthur's house:
"Myself I'd trust him to the end of the Earth," said Ford.
"Oh yes," said Arthur, "and how far's that?"
"About twelve minutes away," said Ford, "come on, I need a drink."
When Arthur asks what is so unpleasant about being drunk:
"You ask a glass of water."
Ford describes teasers to Arthur:
"A teaser? Teasers are usually rich kids with nothing to do. They cruise around looking for planets which haven't made interstellar contact yet and buzz them."
"Buzz them?" Arthur began to feel that Ford was enjoying making life difficult for him.
"Yeah", said Ford, "they buzz them. They find some isolated spot with very few people around, then land right by some poor soul whom no one's ever going to believe and then strut up and down in front of him wearing silly antennae on their heads and making beep beep noises. Rather childish really."
When Arthur asks about Ford's entry about Earth for the new version of the Guide:
"Mostly harmless."
When Arthur asks about a noise they heard:
"Well," said Ford, "if we're lucky it's just the Vogons come to throw us in to space."
"And if we're unlucky?"
"If we're unlucky," said Ford grimly, "the captain might be serious in his threat that he's going to read us some of his poetry first ..."
As Arthur and Ford are about to be ejected into space from the Vogon ship's airlock:
"So this is it," said Arthur, "we're going to die."
"Yes," said Ford, "except ... no! Wait a minute!" he suddenly lunged across the chamber at something behind Arthur's line of vision. "What's this switch?" he cried.
"What? Where?" cried Arthur twisting round.
"No, I was only fooling," said Ford, "we are going to die after all."
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